Local Man Realizes That All the Fun Actually Does Happen When He's Gone

An area man left a friend's party last week, only to come back and realize that all his friends had won millions of dollars while he was away. "You know, it's definitely true when people say 'All the fun happens when you're away'," said the obviously disappointed man, Gary. "I used to think that they were just complainers or exaggerators, but it's totally true!" While Gary went to pick up some chips during the party, the ten other party-goers were visited by a special TV show that gives away money. "They promised they'd save Charades for when I got back. But no, the stupid TV show guy played it with them," said an angered Gary. This is the second time that Gary has missed the hanging out excitement. Last weekend his friends won free pizza from a local pizza shop. "There was plenty pizza left when Gary got back," said Paul, another friend, in defense, "But as soon as he got back the dog and cat leaped out of nowhere and swiped all the rest of it." Gary's friends were very sorry, but would not vow to never let Gary leave their gatherings, fearing that without his usual absence the party would be particularly boring.

Bad Pizza Leads to Team Success

Boston, MA - After receiving a pizza of terrible quality from local pizza giant "Uncle Jub's Pizza," players of the Boston Red Sox have been getting their revenge by abusing "Uncle Jub's" game promotion. Uncle Jub's promised that if the Red Sox hit four home runs in one game, every person in the crowd would receive a free slice of Uncles Jub's plain pizza for that game. The Red Sox players were appalled before the first game of the season when the pizza they received from Uncle Jub's was burnt, dry, and cold. "It was a horrible experience for us," said one pitcher. "When your sitting in the locker room waiting for a hot pizza and you get a piece of crap, it really hurts. It's traumatic." The players have been planning their revenge since that day, a day that they have called "Uncle Jub's Deadness," which symbolizes how Uncle Jub's pizza became "dead" to them after the horrific incident. They are now taking their revenge by playing extremely well and making Uncle Jub's have to give away a lot of free pizza. In the Red Sox's first 20 games, they have hit 4 home runs in 18 of them. With an average attendance of 35,000 people, this has resulted in a total of 630,000 free slices of pizza. In fact, many Uncle Jub's pizza joints have had to shut down due to lack of supplies. "I've never seen them this determined," said the Red Sox's manager. "They swing the bat very hard. They're actually earning their salaries." Players have reported that they don't care about pitch location or aiming the ball. "We just thrash at anything that comes our way, pretending it's that stupid pizza boy's head," said the first baseman. In an effort to copy the Sox's recent success, Baltimore tried a similar food-related act when they had rotten bananas from local shop "Banana-Banza" fed to all of the players. This failed, however, when all of the players went down with a major food-borne illness.

NBA Lockout Ends With "Good Deal"

The NBA lockout has officially ended, and the NBA owners think that they got a "pretty good deal" out of the agreement. With the players refusing to accept a lower percentage of the revenue, the owners declared that they would split the earning 50/50, but only under one condition. "The owners have accepted the players' terms, with the addition that all NBA players must all wear Ballerina dresses on Opening Day," said the commissioner. The owners all began to giggle in the press room after that statement. Reportedly, the players will all don team themed ballerina dresses and wear heavy glitter when they play on opening day. The suits, supplied by the NBA, have already been prepared, costing the owners a grand total of $20 million. This is a move that owners call "long-awaited" and "wicked funny." "This will do miracles for the NBA," said the commissioner. "In a game that features hissy fits, throwing a ball around, and showing off, the only thing that was missing was some guys in tutus." In other news, the members of the Miami heat have been named the performer for the All Star game and will be performing a basketball rendition of "It's Raining Men" in coordinated yellow raincoats.

Frosty the Snowman is the Pop-Culture Jesus?

While listening to the classic Christmas song "Frosty the Snowman," I noticed some major similarities that the Frosty has with the story of the Passion of the Christ in the Bible.

The first clue come from the following line:
"Frosty the snowman is a fairy tale they say..."
This comments on how society views Jesus as a "fairy tale."

"...he could laugh and play just the same as you and me."
Similar to the part-human nature of Jesus.

"Frosty the snowman knew the sun was hot that day. So he said, "Let's run and have some fun now before I melt away."
Like Jesus, frosty predicted his own death. The "hot sun" also symbolizes the anger of the Pharisees brewing against Jesus.

Frosty then goes "down to the village" and "led them down the streets of town." These events sound very similar to how Jesus paraded down the streets of Jerusalem along with his followers a bit before his death.

Frosty is then led to a traffic cop, who commands him to stop. This is similar to the guards who arrested Jesus and ordered him to stop his "false preaching."

Finally, Frosty declares that he "[will] be back again someday," which is similar to how Jesus promised to return some time in the future.

I hope you all enjoyed this post.

War Veteran Says Dodging Adele on Radio is Like Crawling in a Mine Field

Vietnam veteran General Stapless is voicing his frustration with mainstream music, saying that avoiding an Adele song on the radio is both harder and scarier than sneaking through mine fields in Vietnam. "I fought in 'Nam for four years. Nothing was scarier than walking through a deserted landscape, hoping that mines didn't litter the place. Nothing...until that gal." Stapless says that he used to love music. But now when he climbs into his 1981 pickup truck, he's too petrified to turn on the radio. "Something's Deep," what he thinks the song "Rolling in the Deep" is called, is simply too horrible to listen to. "Music isn't as grand as it was in my day, but this song is downright terrifying." The song is so harmful to Stapless that his doctor has ordered him to never listen to it. "As if the pitchy notes and apathetic attitude of the song aren't enough, they have to play it constantly on the radio," says his doctor, who finds the song both medically unhealthy and not something he wants his friends to see on his MP3 player. "I'd rather run through a barrage of bullets or drink pure agent orange than listen to that horrible song," says Stapless, who admits that the song makes him more depressed than his war memories. Stapless' family puts him to sleep at night promising Adele won't recover from her vocal surgery, which makes him feel much better. With Rolling in the Deep fading away, Stapless' family is hoping he never realizes that "Someone Likes You" (his interpretation of Someone Like You) is not a 1920's love ballet, but another song in which Adele complains about boy problems.

Concert-Goers Mistake Plymouth Rock for Music Festival

Note: This is a satire. It is not real.


Plymouth, MA – Local concert-goers were highly dissatisfied yesterday after realizing that the highly anticipated “Plymouth Rock” was not a concert, but an actual hardened piece of Earth. “This is really disappointing for the music community,” said a hardcore concert fan, “Most of us came from across the country to see this ‘Plymouth Rock’ that everyone is always talking about. It’s sort of a downer.” Fans of rock, punk, pop, and hip-hop alike all gathered to see Plymouth Rock, which they misinterpreted to be a major music festival. Local residents were deeply confused when people in beat-up cars and colorful vans started appearing in town. “One of them had hair down to his waist!” proclaimed a local woman, who is used to the calm conservative attitude her hometown in Plymouth usually displays. Concert attendees complained that the only music was fiddles played by the Pilgrim actors, hardly anything to head bang to. “Some pilgrim dude was playing the bagpipes, but that’s not anything I can mosh to,” said Bob Jameson, yet another person in the crowd, as he downed his second beer. “I travel all this way, and there’s just this rock here. What good is a dumb rock? It’s useless without the roll.” Jameson said that this was the second time landmarks had confused him, following the time he the thought “Visiting the Grave Stones” was a Rolling Stone reunion tour.

Making Your Drink

       Water is the source of life on Earth and keeps our world running. Seeing as water is so important to the organisms it feeds, it is therefore very important to keep this necessary resource safe and clean. However, water is not being kept in a clean state. In past years, pollution has become a huge concern, and the substance that sustains us is now harming our bodies. The worth part of this issue is that we as people are destroying the substance that we need the most. Among the many water-related dangers, a new and publicly unknown pollutant is appearing. Girls are experiencing puberty at unnatural points, women are having trouble bearing children, and research has shown an increase in the birth percentage of females. Scientists are saying these problems are due to an unsafe amount of the hormone estrogen in the water.

            So how does estrogen find its way into the water? The sources are debatable, but scientists know that the public is the main cause. Products like oral contraceptives are rapidly gaining popularity in our country. Since they prevent menstruation in the female body, they are the best-known way to keep women from getting pregnant. Hormones are put into these medications in order to control the reproductive system, and in this case the hormones are estrogen. Other uses of estrogen by humans are to help women in pregnancy, relieve menstrual pain, and increase hormone production.

            Seeing as estrogen is so widely used and even considered necessary for the health of some people, it is difficult for doctors to keep people from using it. With all its capabilities, how could estrogen possibly be detrimental to humans? The answer lies in what happens after estrogen-based products are consumed. Estrogen does not get broken down by the human digestive system. It comes out of our bodies with waste and flows completely unharmed into our water supply. Again, people may ask why this is worrisome. We have water treatment plants for the very reason of cleaning out such pollutants. This opens up the second major part of the problem. Water treatment plants do not treat for chemicals such as estrogen. The devices needed to do so are not required by the government and are highly expensive. Water treatment plants with tight budgets will not go out of their way to drain their savings for a non-required mechanism. On top of that, the amounts of estrogen in the water are considered to be negligent according to government standards. The lack of estrogen’s prominence in our water pushes it farther away from public concern.

       Although the government chooses to ignore the small amounts of estrogen in the water, scientists are quite scared. Just like how skin slowly burns in the sun, exposure to estrogen for long periods of time will eventually harm your body. Our bodies produce and use estrogen, but adding more estrogen affects the natural balance of our hormones. Too much estrogen is unsafe. The current issues of early puberty and the increase in the female population have experimental backing to it. If you don’t believe the stories from people, take heed of the stories related to animals. Scientists have many stories about exposing estrogen to fish and watching as the entire population dies out. This does not occur due to poisoning. Estrogen hormones can change the sex of the creature that takes them in. Eventually in these experiments all the fish were females, leaving no way to reproduce. As female human birth rates trend upward, this becomes a scary realization that we need to get to work on fixing this pollutant.

       All this scientific evidence is a huge warning sign to citizens and government alike. But who is truly to blame for estrogen pollution? Deeper analysis will reveal that the responsibility lies with multiple parties. The people are creating the problem with their use of estrogen-based products, but the government isn’t doing its job to remove these pollutants. Yes it is a joint effort, but there isn’t way to fairly force either side to do what needs to be done.  Therefore, we must look for the best option.
       The two sides both have a lot of work to do. The government budget plans need to be edited to allow plants to do the necessary work. This is a matter of public health and safety, and proper funds need to be supplied. However, the government is struggling with its finances and other national issues, and most likely wants to focus on more immediate problems. Finally, water treatment plants have to work the best they can to eliminate these problems. They can accomplish this by making the problems known to the government and provide statistical data to encourage government intervention. Workers may not want to put in extra effort for less pay, but in a cooperative cleanup effort everyone must sacrifice.

       On the other side, people need to be aware of the dangers of what they put in the water. First of all, we must look at the necessity of the estrogen-based products used. If there is no way to avoid using them, we must try to find effective alternatives or safer replacements. We have to be careful with our own habits to preserve our health.

       Ultimately, the responsibility falls on the people that inhabit our country. Since the government is a large and complex organization, we cannot expect it to suddenly fund water treatment plants or initiate programs to make the water cleaner. In turn, we cannot expect the people to simply stop using estrogen-based products. However, there are things that we as citizens can to make a difference. While we wait for the government to take action and address the estrogen pollution problem, we can do our best to minimize pollution. Instead of flushing old birth control pills down the toilet, people can dispose of them properly. Many cities have organized events in which medications are dropped off, sorted, and put in places where they will do minimal harm to the environment. Some facilities now have certain trash cans where medication can be disposed of separate from everyday trash. Proper disposal methods will ensure that no unneeded pollution enters the water supply. Other small decisions will take place on a personal level. Before we use an estrogen-based product, we will have to decide if it is worth the risk of polluting the water. Aside from pollution, people can focus on purification. Although water treatment plants won’t purify the water completely, there are products available to buy and use at home. These products probably won’t be perfectly effective, but the extra purification can only help. So when the authorities fail, the responsibility falls upon the people to keep their world safe and clean. Hopefully someday we can truly collaborate, people and government, to defeat pollution problems such as estrogen. Until then, we as individuals and a people must do what we can to keep ourselves safe.

Happy Halloween...Almost

Halloween is in three days, and this year I may have taken my costume too seriously. I think it's awesome when people act out the character they are dressed as. Seeing as I am a Jedi for Halloween, I decided to go into true Jedi Master character. Long hair, scruffly beard, long robes, and a lightsaber of my favorite color: green. I have taken weeks of Jedi training from the Jedi Counsel Master in my town. In a society in which Jedis are rare, he keeps his Jedi life and living location secret. He resides in his mother's basement, which he calls "Dagobah." Anyway, after all my training, I have become a true Jedi Master, and I am ready to defeat not only the Trade Federation, but also score buckets of Halloween candy which I will exchange for Galactic Credits. Here is proof that I have mastered the Force:

http://www.faceinhole.com/show.asp?id=696e27dba1b1672a30a

That's Just Alright

I've gotten numerous emails about my first publication in "Innocence." I thank all of the people who took the time to email or gmail chat with me for they're opinions, observations, and interpretations of the story. I haven't posted in quite a while, but I have been preparing an array of stories to share with the world. The first of those is called "That's Just Alright." I hope you enjoy it. Thank you.


That's Just Alright

            I’m sitting in the worn-out chair and I’m scared silly. They’re waiting outside the room; I can see the fuzzy outline of their bodies through the blurry, yellowed window. I’m tapping my foot on the carpet. It’s one of those old carpets with the nasty colors. The grotesque sight is greenish-brown and worn, so it’s pretty old-looking. I’m wearing this baby-blue buttoned-down shirt and a red tie. I don’t know why in the world I wore this tie. It just doesn’t match the rest of what I’m wearing. I’ve got navy blue pants on. Maybe a blue tie would’ve been better. Or maybe purple.

            I snap back to reality. Why am I here? Why am I sitting on this chair? There’s sweat dripping down my neck as I adjust my tie. It’s practically choking me! My hair is in my face, so I just slip it back with my right hand. My leg is still going like a piston. I do that with my leg a lot, but I overdo it when I’m nervous.

            My boss is out there. I see him moving his arms up and down. He seems upset, but don’t bosses always seem mad about something? Maybe his coffee was cold. I laugh to myself, then I cough and choke and make myself shut up. I’m sweating a ton now, and my back is practically soaked. I hope it’s not noticeable.

            I’m a middle class guy. I work at this place, and this is my office. I’m just your run-of-the-mill guy. I got a wife, two kids, and a normal house on a normal street in a normal town. Nine to five, supper, and sleep. That’s my day, and I’m fine with it. Well, I’m not fine with it, but you know what I mean. I get my average income, feed my family, go on vacation, and just live. He’s going to take that away from me.

            Yes, that’s why my boss is out there. I’ve seen it coming for the past month. He’s been giving me the hints every now and then.

            “Oh, corporate’s on our ass. We’re cutting down the branch. Things are changing around here.”

            Those are the lines, and they’re directed at me. Well, not physically or verbally, but I know they’re for me.

            I already started to pack up my office. I got this huge bag on sale somewhere. I shoved all my folders and pens and crap in there. That’s probably all that’s in my office. Like I said, I’m a middle class guy with the run-of-the-mill job. I’m getting fired. I’ve already faced it. My God, what will I do? Life’s just not fair, now is it? I’m getting fired and that’s somehow just alright.

            My boss suddenly turns. It’s time. I get an idea. I’ll beg the guy. I’ll get on my knees and beg him until he gives in. I’ll say how much this job means to me, how long and how hard I’ve worked, and what I plan to do to improve this company. That always works. I’ll crawl to his legs and cry my little heart out on his top-notch pants. I’ll dribble my tears on his shiny shoes until he just gives me my job back to spare them. I’ll beg and plead and bleed; then he’ll spare me. Yes I know it! I’m tapping my pen and it’s getting louder.

            The handle turns. It’s old and it clicks and it kills me. I start scratching my ear. It’s so hot in here! Okay, begging won’t work. I’ll make him feel guilty! Yes! I’ll have no income. My kids will starve with only scraps to nibble on. I’ll have to sell my home; move into a nice cozy box somewhere. And where will that box be located? Right on my boss’ street, just so that he can see it as he drives to work every day. He won’t want to suffer through that guilt. No man is inhumane enough to take responsibility for people’s suffering. And yes, my confident will also be tarnished. By firing me he is calling me a horrible employee. Everyone knows that people don’t fire good employees. They keep they because they know that it’s best for the company. The plant suddenly falls off my desk, as if collapsing in desperation due to my foolishness.

            He’s in the office now. My boss is in the door of the office! New plan: I’m going to yell, telling him how bad he is. Yeah, showing some power will make hi consider keeping me. Being the dominant male will make him realize firing me would be a disaster. Firing me would be…

            “James, I’m leaving the company,” he says in a stern but not exactly depressed manner.

My jaw is open.

“Remember how I said that corporate is cutting people. Well that person is me. My salary is too high and my responsibilities are too unimportant to them.”

“Not to be rude, sir, but why are you telling me?”

“Well, James, I wanted to know if you could help me out for a while. Everyone I owned was property of the company. The house, the car, and practically my food.”

He laughed. I didn’t.

“I have two kids in college, James. And my wife doesn’t even work. Would you mind letting us stay at your house for a while until we can find a new home and I can find a new job?”

I gulped out a “Yes.”

            “James, I knew I could count on you. Is it okay with you if we park ourselves there tonight?”

            “Yeah. That’s just alright.”

Troubled Waters

I posted a link to a Google Knol document a long time ago. However, I am reposting this document so that you all can see the final product of my work. This science fair project, in which I removed estrogen compounds from water using various filtration materials, has been a proud accomplishment of mine. Awards from this project include a 3rd Place Award at the WPI Worcester Science Fair, a Stockholm Junior Water Prize regional award, and a 3rd Place Award at the Massachusetts State Science Fair at MIT. Please read my report and comment both on the knol and on my blog. Thank you!

http://knol.google.com/k/luke-dery/troubled-waters/3jdmlrz21za4m/1?pli=1#

Engineering Project - Sled

Go to the link below to see a project I have been working on in school with three fellow classmates. We have designed a sled for disabled students so that they can be able to play in the snow during winter weather. Read the info on the site for more!

http://users.wpi.edu/~d_harney/streamb/index.html


Thank you!!

Luke

Bliss

I wake up in my bed from a sleepless night.

I am hoping in my heart for a fine day

To wash my deep, restless slumber away.

The sun seeps in, and I feel no fright.

A new day is born; an old one is slain

By nature’s cycle which no one has stopped.

Like the bright green trees that have not been chopped,

I feel like a bird free from social chains.

I swim in the pond so crisp and so cold,

Hoping to find that mysterious mode.

In the name of good will, please lend me the code

That I need to open the lock and behold

The deep happiness that is here to stay.

Dear God: Please don’t take this great day away.

© Luke Dery, 2011

Counting Crows - Mr. Jones

Innocence - A Short Story by Luke Dery

Innocence

He was a man on a mission, but he was only a boy. Covered in sweat yet bearing no fear, this little boy made his way down the dark red brick path. He knew where he needed to go; where he needed to be. It didn’t matter how long he walked, how tired he felt, or how much pain he endured. He would walk on until he was done. Done: it can be called a fool’s word. Nothing is ever really done, for everything constantly endures. Nothing stays the same, so nothing can be done. Well, this boy had already constantly endured, so out of all of us, he was closest to being “done.” And dear God he had to be. This boy didn’t bear a name. Someday, long before in his life, he may have had one. Whatever it was, no one knew, or maybe no one cared. It was entirely possible, as sick as it sounds, that no one wanted him to know. This little boy had been cast about like a boat on a storm-ridden sea. He never stayed in the same place, and he never returned to where he had been. He never saw where he was going; he never knew what he was seeing. To this little child, there were no answers, and there were no questions. Questions were not tolerated.

            The boy had no recollection of his past life. All he could remember was the extent of the previous year, which offered little to reflect upon. All that the boy knew was the dark, cold, and sadness of pain. He ate little, slept barely, and cried much. He didn’t like it when he cried. They didn’t like it when he cried. Who? His leaders; his masters. They were the only people he saw throughout each day. The men in the masks. The masks made of cloth. The boy barely caught a glimpse of them. Three times a day did they visit him in his cramped jail cell. Breakfast, lunch, and dinner, as sparse as they were, were his only company. When the men slowly opened the door to the pitch black cavern, the boy could make out the outlines of their bodies. They slid the plate of food to him from the doorway, with the plate usually losing half of its contents on the way. Then they were gone. Not a word, not a face, and not a smell besides the musty smell of cold food.

            They were men, the boy knew that. They wore magnificently simple costumes that fluttered in the drafts of the boy’s cell. However, all the boy could distinguish was the outline of a fine mask. A square mask, fitted for the human head. It was a beautifully scary mask.

            He tried to escape many times. They didn’t like when he tried to escape. There were no windows in the boy’s cell, so the only way out was the door. The door was locked, and the cell was so dark that even the feel of the frigid cold was lost in its black hole. But yes, he had tried to get away from the madness of this jail. One time, when the men opened the door to give him his food, the boy slipped by under their feet after hiding himself in the shade of the moldy wall. They caught him. He was doomed from the start of his plan. After being in the dark for so long, his eyes were not ready to face even the faintest light on Earth. It hurt, it burned, and the boy squealed.

            The men weren’t bad men. When they caught the boy they didn’t bring him any pain. They just simply stared at him. It was still dark, but he could feel them breathing around him. He could feel their eyes. He tried to touch one of the men once, but it always seemed as if they were the air itself. Untouchable. So they stood and stared at the boy. Once, one of them patted his back, and ruffled his long, dirty hair. They seemed so strange, but they were normal to the boy. They brought him no pain, yet they led him to so much misery.

            Today he was let go. Today he sees light. That little boy has freedom, but only the freedom to serve. The men let him free. They never even told him what to do. The men simply placed a package in the boy’s hand and let him out of his muggy cage. Somehow, the boy knew his task. It needed to be done, and he knew that.

            As he walked through the streets of the city for the first time in months, the boy heard commotion about the population of people. People were talking. It seemed as if people never stopped talking. He heard whispers of the power struggle against the king. Many people did not want the blood line to continue. They wanted change, and it was a change that no heir could bring. Talks of upheavals and assassinations roamed around the boy’s ears. But he wasn’t scared; he hadn’t been in a long time.

            He kept walking, as if he knew where to go. It scared him though, because he knew exactly where he should be heading, and he obeyed his guiding mind. The boy saw a man sitting and reading a newspaper. The man was tall in stature, and was wearing a brown hat. His jacket was also brown and bore shining buttons. The man was reading aloud about the king, presumably talking to a lovely lady nearby.

            “Ah, Bessie, here’s another load of bull,” he said, revealing his strangely spitting dialect.

            “Old King up there says he’s lost something, something pretty dear to him, but he won’t say a word about what it is. What do you make of that, Bessie?”

            The woman rolled her eyes, seeming more annoyed by the man than the sentence he had just read.

            “Harold, you know that man’s a coward,” she groaned in an utmost nasty manner.

“He’s trying to win sympathy from the people. Sucking up to us like a baby. Damn him, the coward. After what he did, no one’s going to believe his fake tears.”

            The boy moved on. He had never lost anything, but he had never owned anything either. “Things” were unnecessary.

            Finally, he was there. The boy stood at the front door of an old cottage. The shingles on the roof were cracking and falling to the ground. The windows were fogged and dented by heat, and the bricks in the wall looked far too weak for safety. The door was open, so the boy walked in. Someone must have been there before. Everyone shuts their doors, so something must have been amiss.

The boy approached the kitchen to find it was clear. There was no food, no people, and no supplies whatsoever. The table was split down the middle, and the chairs were missing various legs. The boy determined that this was not the place, so he moved towards the stairs.

The stairs were covered in dirt like snow after a storm. They creaked and they cracked as the boy made his way up them. He didn’t wince with the noise, but instead he enjoyed it. It was nice to hear things for as change, opposed to the eerie silence that had dominated his life so far. He reached the peak of the staircase quite quickly. He could move very fast. A light was shining down the upstairs hallway. It sparkled against the smelly walls, and the boy almost smiled. He caught his lapse in emotion, and moved towards the flickering light.

The room’s door was wide open, and the boy snuck in. In the room kneeling by the bed was a man. He was presumably praying, and the boy could hear both his whispers and his howls of sadness. The man knitted words and sobs together so tight that one left the other helpless to making sense. He was an astute looking man. Being well-dressed and clean, the boy assumed he was educated. The boy just stared at him.

The package. It ran through the small boy’s mind. He bit off the sealing of the package and spit it on the floor, then began the process of slowly unwrapping the item. Whatever it was, it smelled of pain. The boy took out the item and threw the wrapping to the floor. The item was a silver gadget, seemingly equipped with many features. It had a grip and a nozzle, and it fit perfectly to the hand. There were switches on it, but it seemed that none of them needed to be activated. The boy didn’t know how, but he knew what he had to do. Absolutely silent, he approached the sobbing man. He took the item, and pointed it at the man’s head. His target was full of clean locks of curly hair. The boy had similar hair, but it was weighed down and deformed by uncleanliness.

The boy didn’t know what would happen, but he readied himself as he held the item up to the man’s curly head. Then, the man turned and stared. With his blue eyes, the target stared into the boy’s eyes with sorrow. Then, the man became suddenly happy, and his mouth moved but could not produce words. The boy felt something in his head, or maybe in his body. It was a strange feeling; a good one. He hadn’t felt that ever, and it made him angry. Then the man smiled at him and began to mutter.

“Inocious? Oh my dear! Is it you?” said the man, almost in tears.

            That name. It didn’t sit well with the boy. It sounded so familiar and so comforting. He loved the feeling it gave him. The boy was scared, for he wasn’t used to the sensation that he was experiencing. He wasn’t himself or what he was told to be, and this man, the man who suddenly could control his feelings, was making him feel so lost and confused, so happy yet angry. He couldn’t take it. The boy hated feelings.

A loud bang was heard in the distance. Not a bang of happiness, but of pain. But happiness in itself and the desire to acquire it leads to pain. So maybe the shot that day was of happiness. Happiness found, or happiness lost, no one can say. The only ones that can say refuse to. They hear and stare blankly, pleasure not a familiar or needed feeling. As a symbol of what they are, they wear the blank square masks.

(© Luke Dery 2011)

My Website

Check out my website here.

http://users.wpi.edu/~ldery/

Google Knol

Check out my Google Knol on removing estrogen from water.

http://knol.google.com/k/luke-dery/troubled-waters/3jdmlrz21za4m/1?pli=1#

The Dentist's Nightmare (The Cavity Vaccine)

            The child was frightened all day. He knew what was coming. His mother warned him about brushing, but he hated it. Thinking back, it would have been a better choice to suffer at the whims of nasty toothbrush bristles than to endure the torture of which he was headed. What was this activity that instilled fear into the small boy? It was the dreaded trip to the dentist. This adventure usually occurs every six months, but the horrific nature of the little boy’s teeth required imminent dental care. He had cavities. The boy begged that his teeth could be cured miraculously. However, he knew that he could not eat bundles of candy and not suffer this dental calamity. Or, maybe he can, with the newly researched cavity vaccine.

            Dental cavities, or caries, are a common problem in the U.S. It seems like everyone has to get a filling at least once in their life. In fact, 98 percent of Americans have caries by their fortieth birthday (Kranz, n.d.). Also, 25 percent of Americans end up with missing teeth because of dental cavities (Hemphill, 2004).

            Dental caries is an infectious disease that is caused by bacteria in the human mouth. Children are born with a sterile mouth. When children turn 18 to 36 months old, bacteria begins to form in their mouth. This includes many types of bacteria, but the main perpetrator for the formation of caries is a bacteria named streptococci mutans. These bacteria feed off sugar, which is present in the human mouth due to the consumption of foods. When the mutans streptococci bacteria eat the sugars, they react to produce acids that eat away at teeth. If you see plaque on your teeth, it’s not just food from your most recent meal. In fact, it’s a mixture formed by the reaction of the mutans streptococci bacteria and the sugars (Kranz, n.d.).

            A group of scientists have been trying to reduce the impact of dental caries. Dr. Martin Taubman, Dr. Daniel Smith, and a team of research scientists at The Forsyth Dental Institute in Boston have been at work for the past thirty years trying to “cure” one of the most common infections in the United States. The doctors found that the human immune system can be utilized to destroy dental caries, similar to how it fights off many other bodily infections and sicknesses. As with many other bodily problems, vaccines can be used to prevent certain illnesses to ever overtake the body. Vaccines give the body a sampling of the antigen to prepare the antibodies if the real antigen comes along, and the approach to preventing dental caries is similar (Kranz, n.d.). The new vaccine would contain antigens which would stimulate the body to attack the bacteria that causes cavities (Robinson, 2007). Drs. Taubman and Smith experimented with sucrose and mutans streptococci and eventually discovered that when they combined the bacteria and sucrose, the amount of plaque that developed could be limited by the addition of an antibody of glucosyltransferase (Kranz, n.d.). This enzyme, called GTF, allows tooth decay-causing bacteria to accumulate on teeth and leads to the most significant immune response out of all the tested antigens (Shivakumar, 2009). The vaccine kindles immunity in the GTF enzyme, making it almost impossible for the mouth bacteria to stay on the teeth (Brown, 2002).

            Next came the testing. The scientists injected glucosyltransferase as an antigen into the salivary glands of rats (Shivakumar, 2009). The scientists found that the small creatures obtained less dental caries than rats that had not received the new vaccine. After testing their immunization on the rats, the scientists moved to humans. Twenty-five college students volunteered to be immunized with the vaccine or to be a part of the control group. Before the experiment, the students received a thorough dental cleaning to remove all mutans streptococci bacteria. Over a 42 day span, Dr. Traubman found a large reduction in the formation of the bacteria on the vaccinated students’ teeth. However, after those 42 days, the results started to look similar to the control group that did not receive the immunization. Although this seemed like failure, the scientists realized that adults were not the right group of which to be experimented. Like many other vaccines, the cavity vaccine had to be given to the children (Kranz, n.d.).

            Most vaccines are given to children so that the risk of getting infections is lowered for their future life. Since the mutans streptococci bacteria starts growing when a child is 18 to 36 months in age, the scientists decided to target younger people, mainly in the 12 to 24 month age group (Kranz, n.d.). The scientists are currently putting their vaccine into a kid-friendly format, which involves vaccination through the mouth. If they succeed, filling dental caries can be reduced, if not completely removed, from the human’s to-do list (Kranz, n.d.).

            As wild as it may sound, dental caries have a profound effect on our country also in a political way. If dental healthcare spending was removed from the budget, the U.S. would save billions of dollars annually. Worldwide, it is estimated that five billion people suffer from tooth decay (Shivakumar, 2009). A vaccine would also be cheaper than purchasing dental care and cleaning materials (Kranz, n.d.). A vaccine would also help people in many poor countries where dental care is not available (Hemphill, 2004).

            That little boy going to the dentist could be saved from the fear he will experience with the implementation of this dental caries vaccine. A chance for cavity immunity would be cheaper for everyone, from the poor to the well-off. However, how would this affect dentists? Would dentists lose patients and money, or would they still be needed on our society? Sometimes too clean can be bad, but the risk might be worthy if it leads to the reduction of dental caries. I know that I’d be very pleased if I didn’t have to see another needle or dental object put into my mouth again.

Literature Cited

Kranz, R. (n.d.). Imagine…a world without cavities. Retrieved from

http://whatayear.org/01_07.html

Brown, J. R. (2002, January-February). Vaccine for tooth decay. Retrieved from

http://harvardmagazine.com/2002/01/vaccine-for-tooth-decay.html

Robinson, E. (2007, February 23). Is there a cavity vaccine?.

Retrieved from http://www.scienceline.org/2007

/02/ask-hsu-cavities/

Hemphill, L. (2004, March 13). Dental caries vaccine?. Retrieved from

http://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/6524.php

Shivakumar KM, Vidya SK, Chandu GN, Initials. (2009). Dental caries vaccine. Indian

Journal of Dental Research, 20(1), 99-106.