NBA Lockout Ends With "Good Deal"

The NBA lockout has officially ended, and the NBA owners think that they got a "pretty good deal" out of the agreement. With the players refusing to accept a lower percentage of the revenue, the owners declared that they would split the earning 50/50, but only under one condition. "The owners have accepted the players' terms, with the addition that all NBA players must all wear Ballerina dresses on Opening Day," said the commissioner. The owners all began to giggle in the press room after that statement. Reportedly, the players will all don team themed ballerina dresses and wear heavy glitter when they play on opening day. The suits, supplied by the NBA, have already been prepared, costing the owners a grand total of $20 million. This is a move that owners call "long-awaited" and "wicked funny." "This will do miracles for the NBA," said the commissioner. "In a game that features hissy fits, throwing a ball around, and showing off, the only thing that was missing was some guys in tutus." In other news, the members of the Miami heat have been named the performer for the All Star game and will be performing a basketball rendition of "It's Raining Men" in coordinated yellow raincoats.